Day 359 - Quiet Goodnight
So far so good.
Between a vow I've yet to keep and a story I feel compelled to tell, I'm finally making a little progress.
But all day today, I also felt sad...as if I might have betrayed the woman who birthed me and raised me by speaking too many words that stay true for barely a breath. I want to say something to fix whatever needs to be fixed, but I know that isn't the way of stories.
Stories don't fix.
They just help us to remember.
And each time we remember, we get to choose.
Go or stay.
Hold on or let go.
Speak up or stay quiet.
Give in or give up.
Rest or push on.
None of these are better or worse. Tonight, I need to rest, to let go, and give in. I need to just let the story be as it is tonight, unfixed and all. I don't really have a plan for how these 365 days will unfold; I've already tried umpteen times and failed. But I do know that sometimes I just talk too much. And usually I'm so much wiser when I choose to not speak.
A friend read yesterday's post and sent me a song by Jason Isbell that tells a similar story. I'm sharing that tonight for those of you who are listening in. This is my quiet "goodnight."
Between a vow I've yet to keep and a story I feel compelled to tell, I'm finally making a little progress.
But all day today, I also felt sad...as if I might have betrayed the woman who birthed me and raised me by speaking too many words that stay true for barely a breath. I want to say something to fix whatever needs to be fixed, but I know that isn't the way of stories.
Stories don't fix.
They just help us to remember.
And each time we remember, we get to choose.
Go or stay.
Hold on or let go.
Speak up or stay quiet.
Give in or give up.
Rest or push on.
None of these are better or worse. Tonight, I need to rest, to let go, and give in. I need to just let the story be as it is tonight, unfixed and all. I don't really have a plan for how these 365 days will unfold; I've already tried umpteen times and failed. But I do know that sometimes I just talk too much. And usually I'm so much wiser when I choose to not speak.
A friend read yesterday's post and sent me a song by Jason Isbell that tells a similar story. I'm sharing that tonight for those of you who are listening in. This is my quiet "goodnight."
